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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper

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• (210): View more from Texas

  every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man

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• (530): View more from California

  So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.

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• (415): View more from California

  "Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Found your bra

  (214): View more from Texas

  Where?

  (469): View more from Texas

  Hanging in the tree

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry

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