Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
