you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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