M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
