I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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