My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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