But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ladies don't puke and tell
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
