Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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