put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
