I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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