...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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