she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
