Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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