She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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