Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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