I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
