It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
we should paint friendship bongs
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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