This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
