puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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