Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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