Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
