she was so not down for the gang bang
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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