He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
