every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im six kinds of drunk right now
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
