"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
