What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
