this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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