I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
