he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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