there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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