Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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