Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
