i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
