if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
