Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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