Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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