Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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