return my video game
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
