Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
