her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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