So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
