Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
