Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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