She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
