i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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