guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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