you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
