you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
