he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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