dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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