Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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