so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize