it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
