Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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