i may or may not be watching the land before time
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize