The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
