i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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