Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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