Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize