Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
