I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
