I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize