I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am midnight drunk by noon
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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