were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
