My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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