I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hippo gnu deer
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
