i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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