god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
