can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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