She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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