she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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