i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
