you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
