Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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