I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I had to cum in my sink.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
