I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
