The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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